Being in a relationship means constantly negotiating between your and your partner's needs, desires, and expectations. Those may change (within time, new events and transitions), leading to disagreements, fights, feelings of disconnection, inability to communicate, and even affairs.
In a crisis situation, partners are hurting, trying to change each other or at the edge of giving up on the relationship. The most prominent feelings are disappointment, frustration, sadness, resentment, fear, and anger. Other couples avoid conflicts and an atmosphere of alienation, silence and disconnection overwhelms their relationship. The recognition of each other’s emotional needs and difficulties that underlie the behavioural patterns would be the first step to interrupt the cycle of hurt and pain.
I have been working both with heterosexual and homosexual couples, with a basic understanding that each partnership is unique. Couples should feel free to design whatever contract works for them. Many times, we need to reevaluate, discuss, and renegotiate those contracts and this can be challenging.
If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties, therapy may improve communication, helping you to talk and listen to each other in a positive, carrying and productive way. In my experience, relationships can get reenergised and flourish once open communication channels are established.
How does couples therapy work?
Similarly to individual counselling, during the first few sessions we will be getting a better sense of what is going on by exploring your relationship history as well as the current issues. From there, I will be able to make recommendations on how to move forward.
Should we both come together to our meetings?
Yes! The focus of our work is your relationship and you both need to be present at the sessions. This guarantees that you both will be equally listened to.
I see couples who are struggling with:
adaptation and relationship difficulties;
lack of, or ineffective communication;
bi-cultural couples facing the impact of cultural differences and relocation on their relationship;
considering and negotiating “opening” the relationship;
dealing with cheating and affairs;
parenting or co-parenting issues;