"Maybe you’ve tried everything, but your relationship isn’t working anymore, and happiness together feels out of reach. You might be grappling with negative emotions, perhaps viewing divorce as a failure or a sign that your marriage ‘didn’t work.’ You and your partner may be fighting, hurting each other, or feeling like you’ve grown apart entirely. Divorce is never an easy choice, but it doesn’t have to turn into a battle.

During these tough times, it’s common to look for someone to blame for what’s gone wrong. Pain and distress can bring out the worst in us, and instinctive ‘fight or flight’ responses—whether conscious or not—can cloud our ability to think clearly, assess situations, or resolve conflicts.

If you have children, this can be especially harmful. Now more than ever, communication and cooperation are vital to navigate the challenges of separation and build a new life for everyone involved. No matter their age, divorce is traumatic for children, and many wonder if they’re somehow to blame for the split.

When you and your partner are locked in conflict, creating an environment of ‘war,’ your children may feel pressured to take sides. This is incredibly tough on them and can shape their development and future relationships. Their understanding of marriage and family stems largely from what they witness at home. How you handle your separation and divorce will influence this perspective just as much as your marriage has up to now. The best gift you can give yourself and your children is finding a way to parent together, even when apart.

Divorce can feel even more daunting when living abroad, far from your family and support network. Having me support you and your partner during this time can make a difference in fostering healthy communication. Counseling sessions, starting at 45 minutes for €121 (incl. VAT) with longer options up to 90 minutes available, offer a safe space to express your emotions—no matter how intense—in a respectful way. Together, we’ll work toward negotiating a healthy parenting relationship post-divorce. You’ll gain a clearer understanding of your children’s developmental needs, empowering you to make decisions that support them through this transition.